Sesshomaru's Bargain
by patleon909
Summary: Sesshomaru trades the tensaiga for an AK47 and a rocket launcher. What happens? Read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

**Sesshomaru's Bargain**

**By: Patleon909**

At the beginning of this story, we see Sesshomaru and Jaken walking down a forest path with Rin sleeping on Sesshomaru's horse. After a while, Jaken sees Kagome…

Jaken: Lord Sesshomaru, isn't that the human girl who travels with your half-wit brother, Inuyasha?

Kagome: Hey shut the fuck up shorty! Don't dare say that kind of stuff in my face!

Kagome pulls out an arrow and fires. It misses Jaken, but the resulting explosion makes Jaken fly very, very far away.

Sesshomaru: Hey, you made Jaken fly away! Prepare to die you bitch!

Kagome: Wait! Inuyasha wants your Tensaiga and wants to trade this rocket launcher and this AK-47 for it. So, is it a trade?

Sesshomaru: Hmm… ok!

Kagome and Sesshomaru quickly make the trade, and then Sesshomaru continues down the path. Suddenly, a giant _Oni _jumps out of the trees.

Giant _Oni_: RAAR! Hey, gimme that delectable human… or else!

He points at Rin, who has been sleeping on Sesshomaru's horse all this time.

Sesshomaru: No way! You're already fat enough!

Sesshomaru pulls out the rocket launcher and fires. The _Oni _blows up and his guts and blood spray everywhere. Sesshomaru continues down the path. After 1 minute, little _Oni _pop up and sniff the guts…

Little _Oni_: Sniff… Hey! This smells like our master's guts! YOU KILLED HIM!

The little _Oni_ charge at Sesshomaru. He pulls out his AK-47 and kills them all in 2 minutes. When he tries to shoot at a dead _Oni, _nothing happens. He tracks Kagome down…

Kagome: Oh, it just needs ammo…

Sesshomaru: Can you get some?

Kagome: No way! You want your sword back?

Sesshomaru: Yes

Kagome: Too bad! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kagome runs away with the Tensaiga. Sesshomaru chases her, swing and…

: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Sesshomaru: What the hell was that?

Sesshomaru turns around and Kagome is really, really far away. Suddenly, Sesshomaru realizes that that was the unmistakable cry of: KIKYO!

What happened to Kikyo? Find out in: The Scream


	2. Chapter 2

**The Scream**

At the beginning of this chapter, we find Kikyo rubbing a lamp. All of a sudden, a genie pops out…

Genie: I am the one- wish genie! Speak your sole desire and I shall grant it!

Kikyo: Hmm… can you restore my flesh, blood and bones?

Genie: Of course.

The genie snaps his fingers and Kikyo's body is no longer graveyard soil. She starts jumping up and down, screaming:

Kikyo: I'VE GOT MY NORMAL BODY AGAIN! WOOHOO!

Genie: I wouldn't jump up and down if I were you…

Kikyo: You can't jump. AND I DON'T CARE!

Kikyo continues to jump up and down while the genie floats away. Suddenly, the rock under her breaks…

Kikyo: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! ( By the way, this is the scream from the first part)

Kikyo stops her fall by grabbing a rock, but cuts her knee in the process…

Kikyo: Ow, I'm bleeding…hey! I'm in pain AND I'm bleeding! YAAY!

She climbs back up, only to be greeted by wolf demons licking her blood from the ground…

Demon Wolf #1: This blood…tastes good…WHERE DID IT COME FROM?

Demon Wolf #2: IT'S HER! GET HER!

Kikyo: Oh crap.

Kikyo flees, with the wolves snapping at her heels. When she loses them, she has several bite marks on her legs. She lies on a tree and a wasp nest falls. As son as it hits the ground, several _Saimyosho _(sorry I don't know how to spell it) appear.

_Saimyosho _#1: Hey! Who did this to our nest?

_Saimyosho_ #2: She did it! GET HER!

Kikyo: Fuck, not again…

Kikyo gets up and runs away with the _Saimyosho _on her tail. She screams in pain as they sting her with poisonous barbs. They finally go away, and Kikyo looks like she has acne all over her body.

Kikyo: Must…find aloe…AHA! Here it is…ahhh

Kikyo doesn't realize that she's rubbing poison ivy all over herself…

Kikyo: Aahh…WHY AM I SO ITCHY?

Kikyo spots a nearby lake and jumps in…

Kikyo: Ah, water… Hey, what's that strange- looking log?

She swims over and taps it, only to find that it is actually a Crocodile demon…

Crocodile demon: HEY! WHO HIT ME? YOU! YOU HIT ME! I'LL KILL YOU!

The Crocodile demon chases Kikyo and bites her butt, then immediately dies due to the bad taste. Kikyo swims ashore and lies down. Then she bleeds to death and dies. For good.


End file.
